This poor website has been forgotten, ignored, and untouched since 2003. Daily living with multiple illnesses has taken more out of me than I realized.

A old friend contacted me a while back and happened to mention this website, which jolted me into remembering it's existence. I felt a renewed desire to spend more time on it, but I did nothing about it for months. Just a few days ago I spent a lot of time thinking about why I would let something as important and cathartic to me (as this website is) to go without even a thought for almost seven years. I thought of many excuses, but few reasons. The reason is that everyday life is just so difficult that I just couldn't find the energy to dedicate to it, so I forgot all about it for years. My memory is so bad that I couldn't remember the name of the provider, website, or how to sign-in in order to update it. This always prompts a panic attack as I can no longer just think about something in order to remember it. I have to look over old papers and bills, go through old computer files and emails to try to jog my memory.

Now that I've found my way into it, I need to figure out how to update it. Looking over all these old articles, I realize how much I have changed in the past seven years. Many of the articles I wrote seem very hopeful and spiritual, which is where I was at the time, however, I don't believe in much of it anymore.

I will be thinking about how to proceed in the next few days (or months, depending upon when I next remember the password). Your input would be appreciated. Until the next time, gentle hugs.

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