Handing It Over to God

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The past few months have been exceptionally challenging for me--without going into detail and whining, just let me say that I am flat broke and very ill.

During this time, I have used every technique I know to keep calm and not get stressed out about not being able to pay my bills, keep a full time job, get the medical help I need and worrying about my children.

I have meditated, written letters to God, proclaimed to the Universe that I am abundant in every way, but I still don't have a job or any money.

The question that kept going through my head is "What am I doing wrong?"

Because I don't sleep very much, I have lots of time to ponder these types of questions! I had a very interesting revelation the other night that I'd like to share with you.

I was talking to God about my situation and explaining that it is all too much for me to handle. I know that God can handle everything and anything, so I just said, "You handle this, it's too much for me."

I laid in bed for a while longer and realized that I didn't feel any weight lifted from my shoulders, I didn't feel any better, and I didn't feel any divine assistance. Once again, I asked myself what I was doing wrong. I thought about it for a while and I realized that I wasn't really connecting with God, I was just going through the motions.

The realization that we can all contact God and talk with this power at any time (and that we will be heard) is quite a difficult concept for some of us to handle. I realized that I didn't believe that the Universe would possibly have time to listen to me.
So, what process could I use to feel that the Universe and I are one and that I am worthy of being heard?

Well, I thought about who I would be able to tell all of my problems to and ask them for help. I realized that I wouldn't have a problem handing all of my problems over to any powerful person in the world. I'd go to Bill Gates, Oprah Winfrey, Bill Clinton, Michael Jordan or anyone else who I thought would be able to help me. It occurred to me that they are no better than I am, they just have more power and money. They are made of the same stuff, by the same stuff, for the same stuff that I am. They are a part of the same Universe that I am. So, it seemed to me that asking God for help isn't any different than asking a person for help. Believing that God is untouchable is just a mental block that we've been taught and we can just banish it if we wish.
I had a much better day the next day, and I've been getting job interviews all week. My mother has been very supportive of my illness (this is a new one for me!) and some very interesting events have taken place that are showing me that things are being taken care of and that everything is happening exactly as it should.

I am now able to work harder at digging my way out of this mess because I feel spiritually stronger. I am able to deal with problems that I have been avoiding for years. I am considering demanding jobs that I wouldn't have considered a few months ago. I am taking action that I wasn't a few months ago.

Once again, it has been proven to me that challenges make us stronger. We dig deeper and deeper to find the answers and the belief in ourselves and the Universe that we need in order to keep going and growing.

"What doesn't kill you will make you stronger."

Learning to hand it all over to God was an interesting experience for me. I hope that you are able to find a way to connect with your Highest Power and say "Take it all, I don't want it anymore!"